I will forever love the fact and be grateful that I get to share my birthday with the bestest twin brother in the world.
A 29 year partnership that started in the womb.
It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday…
Fridays aren’t as exciting now that I’m not working during the day, since I don’t have anything to do every day feels like Friday. That’s not a good thing, hopefully I get another job soon because not having something to do everyday got old quickly.
In February 2011 my mom was hospitalized, like always I stayed at the hospital with her. One morning I noticed bumps forming on my face. Initially I thought it was a normal break out but in a matter of days those bumps were getting bigger and began to hurt. I didn’t think it was a big deal, I assumed I was having an allergic reaction to something and planned on taking a benadryl.
As I was preparing to go down to the pharmacy my moms doctor walked into her room. During their conversation my mother casually mentions to her doctor that I’m about to go get some benadryl. He looks at my eye and says “That looks like Herpes Zoster come with me.” At that point I’m thinking wtf is going on, what do I have? The word I recognize was herpes, so now I’m freaking out, internally of course because you know never let em see you sweat. So we’re walking down a bunch of hallways and the doctor is trying to have a conversation with me but I’m not really listening to what he’s saying because well he just said I may have herpes.
Mike Brown & Focus featuring Tasha Cobbs - Yes Lord
On a mountain, in the valley, in the desert or stormy weather, I made a promise, I’m giving my all to you…
All of my days my answer will be Yes Lord. I say yes to your will, yes to your way, Yes Lord.
For about an hour my phone was constantly buzzing, instead of responding to the calls and text messages I forced myself to turn it off. It’s something I rarely do, my phone is my lifeline. It keeps me connected to so many things and people. It is also my kryptonite. I’m not sure when or how I allowed myself to become their go to call. For a while I didn’t see anything wrong with it, in fact, I thought I controlled what was happening.
I’ve been searching for something but it’s been unattainable. It’s left me feeling like a shell of the person I once was. Not that I have ever been this great person, I’ve just never been this off track.
I am lost.
I am a hypocrite.
I am a liar.
I am a coward.
I am confused.
I am angry.
I am hurting.
I am broken.
I am worthless.
God loves me. Does he?
God has plan for my life? Really?
There has got to be something more than this. I have to believe God has called me to something greater than this stagnant, mundane life I’ve been living.
I want to know what it feels like to live life without fear. I want to know what genuine happiness feels like. I want to know a life that doesn’t feel like it’s full of shattered dreams and abandonment.
My way of living hasn’t worked so I guess that means it’s time to try something else, I just don’t know where to start.
Do You Believe God Loves You? | Jefferson Bethke